Day 15.

More listening. Have taken the 10 minute listen challenge and it is HARD to listen. Continuing to be open to what this can do in my life...it is definitely not natural for me. Need to be on the computer less so off I go.

Day 14.

Need to listen more in life all around. To my friends, my family, and to my God.

Day 10.

Cuddled with Aidan tonight. Changed everything.

Day 9

New game plan.

Actually no plan. Just have pretty much been blowing it and finding I need to take Paul's words to heart.

"Whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, praiseworthy...think on these things."

True: I am loved.
Noble: I am a queen?! Hmm...that's a strange one.
Right...

Ok the specifics of this are harder than I thought. I do know this...there is lots to be thankful for.

Day 4 & 5

Spent last night at my team Christmas party and today doing life. So I'm combining. (I can break my own rules that's the beauty.)

1. Connected with God by literally "casting my burdens" on Him. Saw burdens removed instantly.

2. Connected with Aidan by cleaning up his room with him, Mikey by holding his foot in the car, and Jeremy by cuddling a little more than usual.

3. Gave my team their Christmas gifts. Made them Christmas CDs and was bold in my faith. Excited to see what God is gonna do. Expectant.

Day 3

Pretty much blew it today. Not intentional but more reactionary.
Barely this..
1. Prayed a lot of breath prayers to get me through the moments of exhaustion.

2. Held Aidan's hand and cuddled with him. Watched the Office with Jeremy while it broadcasted. ( A big deal if you don't have Tivo.)

3. Gave encouragement to my co-worker who feels like he isn't making a difference. Gave grace to a student who didn't have supplies. Gave time to help Aidan get cleaned up when everything in me had nothing left to give and needed to sleep.

Day 2

1. Read My Utmost for His Highest and was struck with some awesome words on obedience and being open to God using us.

2. Connected with Micah by sitting on the stairs with him and eating some pizza rather than running around like a crazy person putting stuff away.

3. Gave to Jeremy by trying to scrape his windshield before I left for work since he had to park outside due to Christmas decorations in the garage. Too bad it kept snowing :)

Day 1

1. Connected with God in some heartfelt specific prayer. Listened. And new things were revealed to me about the work that He has done in me this fall. Hard to explain but God gets it.

2. Connected with Aidan by taking the time to fill his stocking tonight (with stuff from around the house) after he went to bed. So very important to him and I can so easily get caught up in what is important to me.

3. Gave encouragement to a coworker who was feeling guilty that she wasn't doing more this year with all the big ideas she wanted to implement. (She literally said, "I need to confess to somebody..." ) Reminded her that we have limits on what we can do and that God created us that way. Couldn't have told her that if I wasn't learning it myself right now.

December Daily Challenge

Ok I'm a dork. I like lists. I like to challenge myself. And I like something that is concrete. (Don't know where Algebra fits in there.) So this idea is the intertwining of a lot of that in my life. I got challenged at church a week ago with "what if we were connected to God all the time?" And then church was just an extension of that rather than a "re-charge" (Thanks Shelley :)) And since Christmas is the celebration of God with us, I love that we can take time to celebrate that more and celebrate the consuming of stuff less.

So with that thought here is what I am going to shoot for this month.

3 things each day intentionally.
1. How did I connect with God.
2. How did I connect with my family...my Jeremy and my boys.
3. What I did to give today.

Today (even though it is offically still November)...
1. I prayed with my cousin and sought God's peace for her when she needed to be reminded of truth.
2. I swang them upsidedown and just had fun (the boys, not Jeremy :))
3. Used my free underwear coupon for a gift for somebody instead of for myself. Strange but true.

Rescue.

Been trying to find the words to speak my heart after the last week. Wanting to journal the story but just haven't had it in me. It's hard retelling and retelling...sometimes just the facts, sometimes the whole emotional side. Depends on who and the situation. Last weekend I must have answered to 10 different doctors "so tell me what happened"

What happened was best captured beyond the facts...it was a call for a rescue and an answer from our Crazy Faithful God. And Hillsong has it right here. So close to home today.

Prayer and Faith in Desperation

Isn't it funny how we can over christian-ize prayer? All of these fancy things we feel like we have to say, all of the christian-speak that we may have learned after years in the church. At best it might be a combination of truth and repetition of things that mean little to us anymore, at worst it is all repetition with not an ounce of faith.

While I was holding Micah and waiting for the ambulance, I found that prayer got really simple and really easy, because it was all heart. It wasn't a "fox hole" prayer, I wasn't bargaining with God, I was petitioning. Looking back I remember several basic things I was praying:

1. Please save Micah's life

2. I know you love Micah more than I ever could

3. Please save Micah's life

Now I know everyday prayer probably isn't so basic and focused, but why not try praying what is actually on your heart rather than the same thing you've been praying for years. If we're honest, we may not even be sure why we are saying the words anymore. And if the things we should be praying for aren't on our hearts, maybe we should be praying for heart. Of course, here's what Jesus told us to do:

"This, then, is how you should pray:
'Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name,
your kingdom come,
your will be done
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread.
Forgive us our debts,
as we also have forgiven our debtors.
And lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from the evil one.' "

While we are talking prayer, thanks to everyone who was praying for our Micah. right now I am rejoicing in watching him eat pizza and watch a movie without any wires, tubes or IVs connected to him. I have a feeling that everyday monotonous events are going to be a cause for celebration in our house for awhile.

Complete.

Haven't posted in a while. And found that my mind kind of gets backed up when I don't. My life is so FULL now that I am examining the heart of what to pour into. And it's been laid on my heart to "nurture that which God has entrusted to me". And finding what that LOOKS like not just some cute Rachel idea has challenged me to new depths. My house is no longer the papers filed, dishes done, laundry put away (ok never have been so great at that) house that it once was. It's appearance is definitely more un-kept. My running has gone from 6 miles at a time with spinning and lifting to 2 miles with some push-ups. My grading is rarely done. My Christmas presents aren't started and (possibliy complete) but the heart of it is...we are thriving as a family. (Yeah despite evertyone actually physically being sick right now.)

I have faced more fears in the last 3 months than I knew I could. Here's some hard core honestly...appearing to be all together has something that was vital to me. Coming from a home where I was poor I did whatever I could to make sure nobody knew that...found some great reasons why I had tickets for lunch when really the reason was that I got them reduced. I faced a lot of my fear of apperance when dealing with my mom's death. Explaining an overdose isn't excatly an easy one either. I want more than anything to look like I have it together and so having this house so imcomplete has been a constant struggle for me to "explain away the remodeling". But funny thing is I don't anymore. I invited Aidan' entire class and their moms over for a Haloween party and faced my fear that my house is incomplete and yet we are celebrating anyway. (God was gracious and dumped so much snow that nobody saw our incomplete lawn and debris.) My heart was more complete having him have friends to invite over than to worry that the bathroom is gutted.

I have gained 3 lbs. My laundry is sitting in a basket. I left papers at school. I don't feel ready to teach" competing the sqaure". Which is the next fear I need to face...taking the math certification. I already have faced the fear of people finding me out that I'm not a "real math teacher". And yet the side I chose to celebrate is an amazing conference for Aidan at school, a boy soaring in his speech once again. And hearing...

"mommy I don't want anything on my Christmas list. I am blessed."

Sweet. So am I.

(Inspired by: http://mollyirwin.typepad.com/mollyirwin/2009/11/thankful-november-13.html)

Punched in the gut

Been reading the same chapters for my devotions lately and using the Message version to get a different perspective (yes I know to be careful that this is just some guys interpretation) and came across THIS:

"If all you do is love the lovable, do you expect a bonus? Anybody can do that. If you simply say hello to those who greet you, do you expect a medal? Any run of the mill sinner does that."
Matthew 5: 47

You can't read that and just go on your way. You can't read that and not look deeper into your actions. At least I hope not.

Yesterday was tough as a mom. Then we had a 2:30 am puking wake up call. And today was laundry, calling in a sub and writing sub plans, going to the doctor, laying with sick and needy boys, and loving the "grouchy no-appetite kid". But I am challenged to ask myself how hard is it to love my boys when they are getting along, sleeping, and fun? The true test comes when they are "unloveable".

But it doesn't stop there. Here is the hope offered. "Live out your God-created identity. Live generously and graciously toward others, the way God lives towards you." (vs 48)

Now that I can cling to. Hope because our God created us in HIS image. To give. Now to start my list on all that God has given to me...
Be back tomorrow.

Sunday 10

1. Went to Forefront Online Campus. Found out more about David and Goliath. How is that possible when I have heard the story like what 3, 492 times?

2. Ran and accepted that I didn't have to go all out.

3. Read stories and sang the tunes that went with Micah's book. They laughed.

4. Made a healthier choice for lunch than we were initially going to and it was so yummy :)

5. Sorted clothes. Sought out who I could bless and God totally brought that person to mind and found out it was an answer to prayer. That blessed me.

6. Helped my neighbor with some math.

7. Got woke up with "thank you mommy and daddy for the balloons"

8. Got woke up a 2nd time with Micah bringing me flowers, telling me it was time for breakfast and coming down to pancakes, coffee, and eggs.

9. Thought about the kingdom. Seek first and all these things will be added to you as well. I'm getting (understanding) a little bit more of that than ever. Hope I can continue to grow in this.

10. Keep thinking about how to consume less. How to get rid of clutter in a way that allows to enjoy what you really love. (Going through boy clothes started this thought in that Micah has SO MUCH in his drawers that he can't even get to his favorite shirts.)

Friday and Saturday 10 +10

That's 20 :)

Friday
1. Took the long way home and drove past our old town home. Awesome moment of looking back.

2. Took the boys to "shooting ball" place.

3. Watched Robin Hood with the boys. (Actually watched, didn't do my own thing on the side.) Never realized they had a noose in it before. That's a tough one to explain...

4. Left work with no papers in hand. Could have. Chose not to.

5. Was reminded of why I don't teach LA anymore while grading SCR responses for ELC day. Ha ha check out all those acronyms :)

6. Finished and ordered my dad's birthday present. Big 60 this year :)

7. Moved some furniture to get ready for the carpet cleaner today.

8. Didn't overreact when I could/should have.

9. Kept my mouth shut while others fed off each other on the work overload. Still trying to figure out how to be a light in situations like this.

10. Made choices to consume less.

Saturday

1. Got the carpets cleaned.

2. Brought the boys to the dentist. No cavities. After Aidan' spring appt this was a BIG celebration.

3. Got Little Ceasers for lunch, ate it in the driveway so the carpet could dry. Played with sidewalk chalk. Wrote rhyming words.

4. Went to birthday party at Pump it Up. Played. And played some more. It is way more fun to be a kid than watch the kids.

5. Went on a mini-hike. Needed some non-city moments even if for a moment.

6. Was told by Aidan that I need to hunt down the bears and hyneas and tear their skin off for breakfast for his Surviorman birthday party. Hmmm.

7. Made French Toast for dinner.

8. Got surprised by Jeremy coming home.

9. Went and got new balloons.

10. Randomly rememberd the moment I had slurpees with Aidan in Target right before I went into labor with Micah. I knew it was the last time it would be just "us" and treasured it.

Thursday 10

Missed yesterday. Most of it was spent sleeping :)

Today

1. Had "Family Night" at Starbucks at 8 tonight after conferences. Felt totally blessed to have hot chocolate with the boys.

2. Got water for Pluto at Starbucks...gave the guy a good laugh.

3. Took a nap in the van in the parking lot of the park.

4. Woke up. That was a challenge in inself today.

5. Comforted Micah in the early hours of the morning that there were no snakes in his bed.

6. Tucked Aidan in. He was so proud that he set his bed up on the floor.

7. Talked to a lot more parents. Realized that "student led" really is just talk to your student until the teacher can sit down with you. Will be more prepared for next time.

8. Enjoyed a low-key teaching day. Discovered a softer side to the kids.

9. Reflected on what is the biggest inconvenience in my life right now and what God is revealing to me through that.

10. Hard core believe in the power of prayer. There is no earthly explanation on how I could feel so healthy when I am so sick.

Tuesday 10

1. Called in a sub for tomorrow. I'm sick and that is ok.

2. Gave a student a hug who was brought to tears from a test grade.

3. Encouraged a lot of parents that test scores are going to be low and that is because I expect critical thinking not just answers. They supported me and it encouraged me to know they got it.

4. Watched a lot of Frasiers when I got home.

5. Got some interesting perspectives on why kids aren't doing their hw.

6. Ate peanutbutter rice krispy bars. Love them.

7. Helped Micah down the stairs with Pluto and Mickey this morning.

8. Was blessed my my teammate doing my outdoor duty because I wasn't feeling good.

9. Put out candycorn.

10. Kissed my sleeping boys that I didn't get to see all day. Missed them. Oh yeah and bought them Haloween cookies for a special treat for tomorrow. Now I even get to give it to them in person :)

Monday 10 Things

A while back (long while) I did "3" things...3 pictures, 3 things to remember, and 3 things I was thankful for. I thought I'd give a try at a list of 10 for a week. 10 things I did during the day. In a life so full right now I am hoping it reminds me of what was the most important.

1. Gave Micah a kiss goodnight on the nose and he said "not on my nose, on my mouth!"

2. Sent a text and got a text reminding me of God's goodness and rewards of obedience.

3. Scored and recorded 130 tests...all grades are ready for conferences! Ahhh! Breathe.

4. Turned in something to get copied that wasn't perfect...I sent it to print anyway.

5. Listened to Matthew 1-6. Thought it was weird how it went from Jesus birth to the Beatitudes so quickly, never noticed that before.

6. Went to Souper Salad. Was so proud of Aidan getting all his own food himself and then he dumped it all over the floor. Allowed him to feel sad (with the reminding from Jeremy :)) instead of telling him why he could just fix it and go on. It was a big deal to him. Acknowledging that was good.

7. Took a long hot shower in hopes to feel better. I am coming down with something and trying to stay ontop of it.

8. Let some stuff go.

9. Called Jeremy to ask for encouragement when I was feeling overwhelmed. Got some.

10. Had Aidan find me to tell me he got to the next level all by himself. He was so proud. I was happy for him. Especially after his being grounded being removed...all the more excitement to play again.

On Feb 6th

I wrote "Being busy keeps us in "good mode" but being still moves us to extraordinary."
I was reading Psalm 23.
I was helping those that "didn't get math."
I was redefining what was important to me.

Today.

I started my morning with Matthew 5.
I read the promises of Psalm 23.
I cherished my night with my boys.
I am planning Surface Area and Volume.
I am redefining what is important to me.

I am writing the line from Dead Poet's Society "dare to live lives extraordinary".

Dare.

In February I believed it came from being still, but now I am in a season of more on my plate than ever. Still isn't outward it is inward. "It is well with my soul" came out of a story of horrible circumstances.

Bottom line. He must become more. I must become less.

Dare for extraordinary.

A perspective shot

After finally collaspsing tonight I clicked on this http://shuttersisters.com/home/2009/9/8/the-big-picture.html
and this http://biglefteye.blogspot.com/2009/09/makes-me-feel-so-tiny-in-this-small.html

Need a good kick tonight to take a breath and enjoy the view. Here is my perspective shot from just last month @ Mt. Yale. I have always loved the perspective that the mountains give. God is crazy creative.

My grown-up temper tantrum

So my spewing goes like this...

Doors shutting all around on what makes sense to me as best for the boy's for school. Spilled on the new couch. Head is pounding. Jeremy's patio lines are off. Bedtime routine has become miserable. And I'm locked out of the blasting e-benefits and need to register by tomorrow. I don't know what to do with myself right now. I hate that when you can't even figure out if you should go to sleep, finish up stuff that is weighing on you, or just cry it out. So I am choosing to process...

I want to take my own advice right now (ummm actually Paul's) To look to that which is noble, true, excellent, praiseworthy but what if you are just more in a David duke it out lamenting Psalm place?

This was supposed to be best. This was supposed to be a week of a not just saying "That was a God thing" but saying "That was a God explosion". I really was expectant for great things. Is my view clouded? Are there great things that I am either missing out on by looking down instead of up or does my view of great need to change? If God is doing great things because His character never changes then is my idea of great too humanly driven and not eternity driven?

Too deep for even my own processing right now. I think I just need to look back to be reminded of God's faithfulness. Good ole' Isrealities were good for some lessons.

3 More

Same questions...worth revisiting again.

1. Who/what are you trusting today?

2. Who/what are you grateful for today?

3. Who/ what is inspiring you today?

1. Trusting that the same peace that I rested in a few months ago will be there as we enter into the fall of unknowns.

2. Grateful for the blessing of doing Aidan's therapy session with him today (never did that before) and seeing him ROCK it. And how hard he works not just there but everyday.

3. Inspired by Proverbs. And fun summer music.

3 questions

Haven't blogged in a long time. Combination of being overloaded in life emotionally with parenting battles, interviewing and getting a job and now searching for the best fit for the boys for the fall, and just being plain tired from traveling and schedules.

But tonight I am "borrowing" questions from a fellow blogger...just to reflect a little bit.

1. Who/what are you trusting today?

2. Who/what are you grateful for today?

3. Who/ what is inspiring you today?

1. I am always trusting in my Faithful God. But I am also trusting that the school that we decide on for the boys for the fall will be the best. Not just ideal, but the best.

2. Today I am grateful for taking time to understand my boys not just react to them. To ask questions when I would rather tell them what they should be feeling or thinking. To know that I need to be open to learning from my children not just them learning from me. I am grateful for taking each day at a time and sometimes each hour. And also a cherry coke slurpee. Ymm.

3. I am inspired by the book I just finished "The Summer of the Swans" (love adolescent lit...and love that you can finish it in a few hours) Powerful story of loving and discovering when you care more about somebody else than yourself. Also inspired by fun greens...I am weird I know.

My Scattered thoughts...

Couple things I've been pondering on and just wanted to get them on "paper"...

Ran the Colfax Relay Marathon a few weeks back. Learned the value of running a race and having those cheering for you and coming along side you...when you needed it most. For somebody who hates having a workout partner and likes to do things myself this race really brought to light the value of "running partners"as it parallels with Soul Revolution and having people to "run" along side you. I need those people but the key is they have to be in the race with you to give you the support when you hit the wall. You can't wait to have your partner join you when the journey gets tough...they need to be there all along.

Watched "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" one of those movies that you turn over in your mind afterward. Some interesting thoughts on life constantly changing, the choices we make that seem inconsequential but interweave in ways that are life changing, learning from the old, and missing out on the chance to be a parent...
Still pondering and don't want to give away too much. Just like those movies that make you think about life in new (backwards ways).

Celebrated mothers day this year. Really truly with joy and no sorrow. Bought the gift I never did 14 years ago and thanked my mom for being the "Selah" (stop and listen) in my life. Love that she taught me how to set aside that which didn't matter for that which did. She knew how to play and create. I am moving towards that more and more...

Read Soul Revolution. Actually finished it. So so much to write about that. Huge. Amazing. Real applications to connecting with God. Following prompting and learning about faith and trust. And money. Ha! Like the idea at the end of the book to have your own "rock piles of faith" as reminders of God's faithfulness. Have been collecting those and reflecting on that.

And finally been challenged with the thought...do I trust God's gifts or Him as a giver? That's a tough looking inward one. But so so necessary as we life a life of trust.

And getting ready to celebrate Jenn (and Scott too of course)...so off I go...

Selah

...just stopping and listening more (Selah)

Today I am thankful for listening to Aidan's precious questions about God. And telling me that God and Jesus are friends because God sent Jesus as a baby. And wondering why God doesn't talk to us in burning bushes anymore. And if our house was on fire he would pray for God to protect us. And he wishes he was God because God doesn't make any mistakes.

I told him I was glad that we are children of God and agreed that it was good that God didn't make mistakes. Because he made each of us.

Children help us learn about the kingdom more. I am so thankful for that.

Overcome

One of my favorite Desperation band songs. Great lyrics. Live them today. Be encouraged.

Seated above, enthroned in the Father's love
Destined to die, poured out for all mankind
God's only son perfect and spotless one
He never sinned, but suffered as if he did

All authority, every victo-ry is Yours
All authority, every victory is Yours

Savior, worthy of honor and glory, worthy of all our praise, You overcame
Jesus, awesome in power forever,awesome and great is Your name,You overcame

Power in hand speaking the Father's plan
You're sending us out, light in this broken land

We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb
and the word of our testimony, everyone overcome

Gratitude just because

A lot of times I make lists to "combat" when I am discouraged. Monday I was discouraged. Yesterday was a joyous day. Just goes to show how rollercoaster this life can be. So today I am a making one just because who knows what today holds...

1. Mikey eating breakfast next to me.
2. Aidan telling me about all the animals in the jungle.
3. Celebrating mothers day. Truly.
4. Jeremy giving his all to us in so many ways.
5. Victory. Because of the cross. And because He loves us. (Romans 8:37)
6. Blooming flowers and Aidan naming them.
7. A full fridge and pantry.
8. Washing machine and dryer. Seriously can you imagine life without these?
9. Friends thinking of me and showing me that through love.
10. My cell phone. Even if it is a stinking Razor that is breaking on me...
11. Soul Revolution and "running partners" to do it with.
12. Toy Story, Red pants, Apple Game, sidewalk chalk, alligators, chocolate milk and all that which brings joy to my boys.
13. Everybody healthy for the first time in a while!
14. Painting and discovering how much I like to play with it.
15. A wedding soon! And another!
16. Catering and the food and money it provides.
17. A surprising face at church on Sunday.
18. Life.

...and poppyseed cake and celebrating my mom.

Thinking about Christmas

Inspired by this:

http://mollyirwin.typepadcom/mollyirwin/holiday/

And a random December Issue of Body and Soul that I checked out from the library has got me thinking about Christmas in April.

So many times we rush through December and have crazy expectations of presents, cookies, projects, yada yada. We play the songs. We put away the CDs on the 26th and then don't revisit them until next year.

So...what if?
What if we did the Holiday more year round? Or is there something magical about looking forward to that stuff?

Just thinking...that's all. Wondering what to do to bring a little Christmas into my year. Anybody want to join me for some caroling? ;)

Our Soccer Guy

On Saturday Aidan went to his first "soccer practice' and loved it! They play "games" with the ball not a traditional game but they are learning skill work by playing "Mr. Fox, hamper, and red light green light". Good stuff. He had fun...we actually froze (need to bring Starbucks next time!) More than anything it was such a blessing to see him have fun playing.

Tuesday Cranky

After a wonderfully refreshing weekend I woke up this morning totally crabby and tired due to a restless night of sleep...amazed at how fast my attitude changed. So now I am am choosing to focus on Phil 4:8...you know that true, noble, excellent, praiseworthy stuff.

1. Aidan's heart for helping his brother this morning.(He wanted to make him breakfast and all I saw was him making a mess. Good lesson for me to stop and seek understanding.)

2. Morning air. I love being outside early morning. Too bad I have ceased to be a morning person :)

3. The blessing of heading to the gym while the boys are at school.

4. Sunflower market. Heading there this morning too.

5. A flexible, loving, patient husband. Yeah that should have been #1. He helped me seek understanding.

6. Realizing that my walk with Jesus can be moment to moment more than I ever thought possible.

7. Seeing sprouts...both outside and metaphorically.

8. Open gym. And since we hadn't been in so long it was such a leap in the boys skills and confidence. So fun.

9. Micah and "yum yum, that's delicious!"

10. Music. Itunes, pandora...boys singing. We are blessed.

Just for Fun: Crayons, heart, and soul

Saw this online today and thought it could lend to lots of ideas. (Crysti what to do with all those broken crayons from church :))

http://mollyirwin.typepad.com/mollyirwin/2009/03/wearing-the-green.html

Also on a deeper note I have been reading about the difference between heart and soul. Any thoughts?

Found this so far:
http://www.biblebb.com/files/tonyqa/tc00-107.htm

The Same Power

My sweet boy was watching videos on you tube with me and found this one. I have been encouraged by it as I am dragging from feeling like yuck this week. (Currently sitting in Micah's room for my own quiet time while Micah is with Daddy for his quiet time. Silly world.)

There is a love that I know
A strength for the weak and the broken heart
My Shepherd and King
I find You within me
For you are here
My Lord forever
You are here

Verse 2:

You carried the cross for the world
Gathered the lost and the fatherless
My Shepherd and King
I find You within me
For You are here
My Lord forever
You are here

Chorus:

In this place, you are here
By Your mercy, I draw near
In my heart, take your place
You are here

Verse 3:

Your word is the light of the earth
Your glory resounds in the universe
My Shepherd and King
I find You within me
For You are here
My Lord forever
You are here

Chorus

You are here
You are here
You are here

Bridge:

The same power that conquered the grave
Lives in me, Lives in me
Your love that rescued the earth
Lives in me, lives in me

You are here
You are here
You are here

Sunday Thoughts

After my experiment this week I realized a couple things.

Every day we have CHOICES. We choose what to feed into. We choose what to remember. We choose to have gratitude. Check it out.

Philippians 4: 4-9
(Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.)

In college I wrote notes from my NT professor about these verses in my margin. They are as follows "praise allows you to focus on the lovely rather than the lousy. It's a +1 mindset, not just neutral."

That is it. I want to live in that mindset. I have a choice to. Check out what Paul tells us to focus on...

-true
-noble
-right
-pure
-lovely
-admirable
-excellent
-praiseworthy

Result? The God of peace will be with you. (vs 9)


Friday and Saturday were not as good of days with the boys. But if I step back and look at the BIG picture and the WHOLE day rather than just the yuck I find there was still way more good than not. (Praiseworthy rather than lousy.) I am having more peace because of this. I hope you do too.

Saturday 3

Gratitude



1. Living in a country where we can share our faith openly. I have never been in a "closed country" and it has even been years since going on a missions trip to Mexico. Hanging door hangers opened my eyes to the blessing of being able to say "just wanted to invite you to a new church starting in the area."

2. Having the health and strength to walk the streets to do the job. It was way more exhausting than I thought.

3. Hamburgers. I never want a hamburger but I am blessed to get one on those crazy days when I have the craving. (And a new pay month to go out with cash for dinner in budget :))


Remember

1. Aidan's enthusiasm for going out to do door hangers. He made sure we all had our t shirts on for it. And he wanted to invite his friend Aden. Awesome.

2. When dividing into teams for the neighborhoods Aidan saying "Micah and I are a team."

3. And yeah...don't give Aidan no time to recharge at home and then have him go to Home Depot after a long day. Not good for anybody.

Friday 3

Up late last night wooping it up (can't say what so Jeno doesn't know) So here is yesterday's...

Gratitude
1. Wild Berry Skittles. Waaaaay better.
2. Singing in the car with the boys after not so hot behavior in the store to change attitudes. It worked.
3. Making new friends and finding we can "swap" skills.

Remember
1. Even yellow days have tons of great moments. I can choose what to focus on.
2. Running outside and playing football means cleaning the kitchen can wait.
3. I am no longer afraid of not having plans for the day. Ok still haven't arrived but I am growing in this drastically. Wonderful week and planned NONE of it in advance. Zoo...McDonalds...Hobby Lobby...Park...

and one more...we have TONS of stuff that we don't use enough like puzzles, art, stickers. It is good to use what you have before looking for more.

Thursday 3

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Gratitude
1. More of Aidan sharing willingly. Gave Micah the last banana at dinner tonight.
2. My cell phone. Seriously how would I know to switch McDonalds location because the first one was too full and my friend scoped it out first?!
3. Depositing checks.


Remember (can't choose just 3 today!)
1. "Be still and KNOW that I am God" Emphasis not just on the still but on the knowing that comes through that.
2. The preciousness of a little boy falling asleep on his floor.
3. Counting on God Worship CD blows me away time after time.
4. Man the Israelites were a bunch of drama queens. I know I am too.
5. Aidan giving Daddy his helicopter from when he was a kid that he bought for him on ebay. Love it.
6. Boys who played "North Pole" at McDonalds and were amazing friends to each other and those around them.
7. Cool ideas for the kitchen recipes from generations past.

Wednesday 3

Gratitude

1. Jeremy having the wisdom to realize that I am tired and that I need to find a way to take a nap. I did.
2. Little Ceasers. After working this afternoon I didn't have it in me to do one more thing and we found a way to "go out to eat". The boys think tailgating is great and we like the price :)
3. Aidan thankful when Daddy brought water to drink for him with the pizza. I am thankful that he is thankful for whatever he gets.


To Remember (either lessons or moments)
1. Umm...yeah "biking" to the park with Micah sounded much better in concept than reality. He needs to learn to ride first.
2. Aidan stopping at telling his friends that did the race "great job" as we were walking out of church.
3. I love the Veggie Tales with Josh and the Big Wall. I watched this back in August as I got ready for the retreat and it gave me perspective then about true reliance and trust on God. Same reminder today.

Tuesday 3

It's early in the day but here is what I am thinking as of now...

Gratitude

1. Another green day at school.
2. Crazy warm weather for February.
3. Mikey's enthusiasm for hot dogs. I hope it can always be that easy.


To remember

1. I'm learning to let go more all the time. Watch a movie in the basement even if the weather screams come play outside. Not take a shower and instead...watch the movie with the boys.

2. Grocery shopping and hearing "...and your change is 17 cents" and being used to that. Cash is good. Jeremy has good ideas.

3. Getting up early to put out the garbage from the bathroom demolition.

The Challenge of 3

Just for me but you can follow and join in. I just needed a kickstart in my creativity. And a desire to simplify at the same time. I am developing my mantra of "what is essential, what is the heart of it?" (So that I stop saying "bottom line" ;))

So for this week each day:

3 pictures
3 things I want to remember
3 things of gratitude

Sunday 2/22/2009








Remember
1. Jeremy needing help in the bathroom but instead telling me to go run.
2. The unity of a sendoff for Forefront at the Rock.
3. Eating popcorn in Mikey's room during bedtime stories.

Gratitude
1. Washing machine.
2. Food without even grocery shopping for the week.
3. Time to scrapbook and reflect on good stuff.


Monday 2/23/2009




Remember
1. Aidan checking off what he saw on the zoo map to keep track of it. And his million questions to the Elephant and Hippo zoo guys. How old the hippos are (52 and 6).
2. The boys peeing the backyard to "water the grass".
3. Micah giving Aidan the smiley face receipt from Costco when he got home.

Gratitude
1. Warm oatmeal, warm coffee, and warm house.
2. The freedom to be spontaneous even though I stink at it.
3. Socks.

AND The realization of how can I not be thankful?

"Busy, you?"

How do we answer that usually?

"good, you?"

"good...yeah busy but good"

"yeah me too"

So humor me as I reflect on the last month...

For some reason lately when I've been asked that I have this whole slew of answers that I can't really wrap up into a one word answer . But who really wants to hear how we are doing beyond good? I can no longer say "good but busy". I'm not busy. Don't get me wrong I have plenty to do. I have laundry and dishes and projects like always but I have emptied my schedule, myself, and I am left with an openness that is strangely redefining. Pre-January Jeremy and I used to sit down on Sunday night and look at our schedules. Monday-small group, Tuesday-WM meeting, Wednesday-kids connection, Thursday-worship practice, Friday...Sat... You get the idea. We were slammed. We were busy and we were good.

But what if good isn't good enough? What if like "Hitch" fine isn't good enough, what if we want extraordinary? Are we willing to empty ourselves to get that?

It's hard. It is stinking hard. For somebody who so likes to be defined by what I DO. This is so redefining. If we aren't defined by what we do, what are we defined by? Who we are? Who is that? Looking out is a lot easier than looking in. Being busy keeps us in "good mode" but being still moves us to extraordinary.

In the last month we have made a lot of changes. Went to cash. Cut the boys school schedule in half, gone back to the "Mother Church" in preparation for a new church plant, canceled TV programming, sold a lot, got rid of a lot, ate at home A LOT, and I even went to the gym less. And because of that I have lost weight (yes I am weird I know), had a Sound of Music picnic, went swimming at the Rec center a ton, went useless shopping so much less, created art, had many friends over for lunch, and read. Reading definitely way of making you look inward. When the books you are reading are the Bible and Grace Based Parenting...you can't help but look in instead of out.

It is better...but it is hard. Why is that? I'm guessing that the move to extraordinary doesn't come without some sacrifice "surrender of something for the sake of something else". So as I surrender I am guessing that there are going to be some times that despite all the blessings...they don't come without surrender. Which is always going to be tough.

I am got a book that walks me through Psalm 23. I carry it in my purse (so it doesn't count as another book that I am reading, ha) and I love the promises that it gives...

...restoration
...goodness
...contentedness
...comfort
...overflowing

We all desire that in life. If you ask me that doesn't sound just good but extraordinary. But it doesn't come without allowing God to be the Shepherd and Us to be the sheep. Not the other way around. And he is leading beside still waters. Not crazy busy rapids.

Just some thoughts...Who knows what God is doing in me in all this. I know busyness will come again but not without me first changing my answer to "how are you?"

Gratitude for

Haven't made a list for a while. Usually make them when I am down and need a pick-me up but today I am just amazed at all the blessings in my life. So here are a few of some...

1. Pizza burgers.
2. Time. The gift of time is amazing.
3. Running Green Mountain last week in the sunshine.
4. Singing How Great Thou Art...amazing hymn.
5. The freedom of getting rid of more and more stuff.
6. Less TV.
7. More time with my boys, playdough and all :)
8. Planning celebrations.
9. Putting all of Aidan's art together and seeing his talent and growth.
10. Reflecting on my spiritual journey.
11. Hearing the cries of those hurting and being available to encourage them right in the moment they need it.
12. Aidan discovering powdered sugar.
13. Micah asking for something to drink for "his guys" when he wakes up.
14. Being part of a new adventure at Forefront. Praying, worshiping, and meeting new people embarking on the same journey.
15. Reading the Bible. Started in Genesis this year...catching details I have missed before.
16. Being open.


Wow...I could keep going and going but I need to get some monkeys ready for school.

"I want to grill pineapple this summer"

Ok...so weird title for a blog but it was one of those moments that gave me a deeper glimpse into myself once again. (That and some conversations with my cousin who is also a "check it off the list person")

Story goes...I have a 100 list as many of you may know. I have everything from get a salad bowl to get my doctorate to go to a concert at Red Rocks (yes!!! Did it). I like lists. I like to check things off. I don't like things that take maintaining. Like this year Jeremy has made 10 "resolutions" (hate to use that word) about maintaining reading, eating habits, and finances. Me...I have a word (Open) that captures what I want to be about for the year. I can handle a word. I can handle lists. But I don't like things that are long term. I like to feel a sense of getting stuff done. I want to feel successful.

So I say all that because tonight I said "I want to grill pineapple this summer" and laughed that my I should make that one of my 10 "resolutions" because it's easy to check off and then I caught myself realizing...I like to take the easy road. You wouldn't think that about me from the outside. I seem disciplined. I look like I have goals that I am working towards. And I do. But these goals are all ones that I know are "easy" so to speak. Just like the pineapple. I need to get past grilling pineapples and be ready to grow them (ok not literally more metaphorically). So here's to being open to lists that aren't "check-able". Yikes.

What do you think? Is this something I should grow in? Or just some crazy thought I'm having late at night? What kind of person are you (check-able or maintainable) and what kind of pineapples do you need to grow in?