Hope for a Stuttering Child

It started out as what seemed like a few cute sayings from our oldest son Aidan. The one I will always remember is, "Whatcha-whatcha-whatcha-whatcha Garfeee", which was Aidan at two years old, walking down to Auntie Jenn's room and asking her if he could watch Garfield on her TV. Eventually though the repetitions came more often and eventually were a part of almost every sentence Aidan spoke. Then one time in the Fall of 2006 we left Aidan with some friends for a weekend while Rachel and I went out of town for a mini vacation. When we returned and picked up Aidan he literally could not finish saying even one word. His face would tense up, his eyes would close and he would just repeat the same syllable over and over.

The trip back to our house was emotional and heart breaking. Our son couldn't communicate with us. Our pediatrician told us this was normal and that you couldn't know if a child had a stuttering problem until they were five or six years old. I can remember what I said to Rachel after I buckled Aidan into his car seat and closed the van door: "I don't care what he (the pediatrician) says, we're getting him tested by a specialist. I can't just watch him struggle and do nothing to help him. What if we find out someday that he needed our help earlier? I don't think I could live with that."

I think there is a common perception that people stutter because they are dumb or slow. Knowing Aidan at two years old I knew this couldn't be the case. Patty confirmed that Aidan had a large vocabulary for a kid of his age, and anyone who met him knew that he was smart. He has an uncanny attention to detail and is very mechanically inclined. But still, when Aidan would struggle with his speech in public I would grieve of what people thought of him. I would critique the way Rachel and I had parented and wonder if we had somehow caused his stuttering. No parent wants to see their child struggle.

We made an appointment with a speech specialist through our health care provider. She told us to make a video of Aidan talking while playing and to bring it with when we visited. A few weeks later we met with her and she played with Aidan for about 20 minutes and watched the video. All I remember is just wanting her to tell us what she thought.

Eventually she finished playing with Aidan and turned towards us. In a rather unceremonious way she informed us that she felt Aidan had a legitimate stuttering problem and that he should begin seeing a speech therapist. The therapy wasn't provided through or covered by our insurance. She handed us a stack of business cards and started sifting out the ones that would be in our area of town. I looked at her and asked if it was her son, who would she take him to, regardless of location? Without a second of hesitation she grabbed a card, handed it to me and said, "her".

The card was for Patty Walton at the Center for Stuttering Therapy. As our luck would have it her office was 15 miles across town. We made an appointment and met with Patty for the first time and she spent some time with Aidan and after a few minutes confirmed the earlier diagnosis. But then she offered us the most unlikely encouragement, something Rachel or I had never heard. She told us that this was "so treatable" and not to worry about it. One day, she said, Aidan would speak perfectly fluently. It seemed to fly in the face of all of my life experience. I know adults who stutter and as a child I had friends who stuttered despite being in speech therapy their entire childhood lives.

Soon thereafter Adian began speech therapy. Twice a week Rachel or I would take him to Patty's office for a half hour session. It may not be the first thing you think of, but can you imagine trying to get a two year old to sit still for 30 minutes and "work" on his speech twice a week? Even the most well behaved child would struggle to do that day in and day out, week after week. There were times where we got our money's worth and times that were a total waste, but little by little Aidan began to progress. At times we would think that he was almost done, his speech would be great for weeks. Then a major setback would come and it would feel like we had gone back to square one. No doubt Patty could see the emotional roller coaster we were riding. One time she even introduced us to a woman who had a son that Patty had worked with many years ago. Patty told us that he was now in college and had no trace of stuttering. Still, it was hard for us to make that connection to our own pre-schooler.

There was a long period of time where we lost heart. Children who began therapy at the same time as Aidan seemed to be progressing more rapidly and the game of comparison that all parents play in their minds was chipping away at our hope. It seemed like each week was up then down. Rachel and I began to lose faith and started preparing ourselves for the fact that our son would be a stutterer and that was the way it was going to be. It hurt to give up that hope that we once had, we had gotten our hopes up only to have them dashed. I know that at the lowest point I felt like God had taken the opportunity away from Aidan.

That was a half year ago. Since then Aidan has gone through an unprecedented time of fluency in his speech. Each day he amazes me, whether it is talking on the phone or answering an unknowing adult who peppers him with question after question without giving him a chance to answer. At such a young age he has shown me what it means to persevere. He's also taught Rachel and I not to give up faith when the road looks rough and no end is in sight. "Easy talk" is the daily norm and I've even heard him say "that was a little bumpy" when referring to a rare instance of dysfluency in his speech. How could I ever have doubted in him?

Now I know that children go through far more difficult things than stuttering. My heart breaks for kids with cancer, heart problems or any other type of disease or sickness. We have friends and family with challenges far beyond what Aidan has gone through and we pray for them continually. But stuttering is a challenge for a lot of kids, and specifically it was the challenge for my kid and thus is the struggle most "real" to me. In writing this my hope is that someone will be searching the Internet, curious and/or concerned about their child's stuttering, and what I've written will encourage them to contact a specialist and if necessary, have their son or daughter tested. There is hope! Research and treatments have made tremendous advances in recent times. If your child is struggling, what do you have to lose by checking it out? The sooner you get them help, the better their chances are! Browse over the http://www.coloradostutteringtherapy.com/ and see what you can learn.

In closing, I just have to send my thanks to "Miss Patty". You've meant so much to our family and especially to Aidan. You've been a part of who he is for over half of his young life, and I know your impact on him will last for the rest of his days. Lately I've come to realize the irony that what once was the pain we felt in having to bring Aidan to your office will be replaced by the pain in realizing that your special place in his life will be complete. We are forever grateful for what you have done for our son, but also for the comfort you offered us as parents.

"Pizza Plants"

If you have seen WALL-E you will know what that means, if not...adults this is for you, Disney's deepest movie yet.

With a quote of "I don’t want to survive. I want to live." And a deep perspective on what will happen if everything is done for us. It was an amazing reminder that I don't want life to be perfect or handed to me.

Has anybody else seen this and have any reflections on it?

A quick 10

1. Aidan writing notes.
2. Watching my wedding video.
3. Good deals at the grocery store.
4. Giving Micah hugs and him saying "so much" (which means love you so much)
5. Darn good conversations.
6. Starbucks refills (for free!)
7. A yummy dinner that wasn't that hard.
8. Learning to deal with stressful situations in a healthy way while in the moment.
9. Obedience.
10. Miss Patti.

Spinning

For my friend who encourages me in this (the yes/no thing) and is wanting something to read. So I'm cheating and directing you to another blog. Enjoy.

http://www.ordinarycourage.com/my-blog/2008/10/6/dedicated-to-jen-on-her-birthday.html