Tuesday, August 11, 2009

My grown-up temper tantrum

So my spewing goes like this...

Doors shutting all around on what makes sense to me as best for the boy's for school. Spilled on the new couch. Head is pounding. Jeremy's patio lines are off. Bedtime routine has become miserable. And I'm locked out of the blasting e-benefits and need to register by tomorrow. I don't know what to do with myself right now. I hate that when you can't even figure out if you should go to sleep, finish up stuff that is weighing on you, or just cry it out. So I am choosing to process...

I want to take my own advice right now (ummm actually Paul's) To look to that which is noble, true, excellent, praiseworthy but what if you are just more in a David duke it out lamenting Psalm place?

This was supposed to be best. This was supposed to be a week of a not just saying "That was a God thing" but saying "That was a God explosion". I really was expectant for great things. Is my view clouded? Are there great things that I am either missing out on by looking down instead of up or does my view of great need to change? If God is doing great things because His character never changes then is my idea of great too humanly driven and not eternity driven?

Too deep for even my own processing right now. I think I just need to look back to be reminded of God's faithfulness. Good ole' Isrealities were good for some lessons.

2 comments:

shelly said...

I don't know much, but this I know...

God's ways are not our ways, and his thoughts are not our thoughts, BUT God is GOOD, and he is FAITHFUL, and he is JUST, and he's NEVER broken a promise. Persevere, trust, endure, hope.....God ALWAYS comes through....he doesn't know how not to. :)

And for those moments where your mind is going crazy and you just don't know what to do....stop, breathe, and soak in the truth of Philippians 4:4-7 and believe.

See ya tomorrow! :)

Lori Wilson said...

Many times in my life I have asked myself the same questions. Ecclesiastes says there is a time for everything and reason for everything under the sun.

You are in a transition period and that is always hard.

Your emotions are God given and useful for telling you that there is something going on inside. Fully experience it, process it, and then move on. Don't dwell on it or it will only make you crazy.

Perhaps this is a trial thrown at you by the enemy. Perhaps it's just life. Either way, if this is where you are right now God WILL bring you through it. Remember His faithfulness in the past. Remember that His plans are not to harm you, but to give you hope and a future. Remember to surrender and "let it snow". Remember to breathe.

One of my favorite quotes is, "When you start to panic, put your feet down."

Put your feet down Rach and know that God loves you fiercely.