My Scattered thoughts...

Couple things I've been pondering on and just wanted to get them on "paper"...

Ran the Colfax Relay Marathon a few weeks back. Learned the value of running a race and having those cheering for you and coming along side you...when you needed it most. For somebody who hates having a workout partner and likes to do things myself this race really brought to light the value of "running partners"as it parallels with Soul Revolution and having people to "run" along side you. I need those people but the key is they have to be in the race with you to give you the support when you hit the wall. You can't wait to have your partner join you when the journey gets tough...they need to be there all along.

Watched "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" one of those movies that you turn over in your mind afterward. Some interesting thoughts on life constantly changing, the choices we make that seem inconsequential but interweave in ways that are life changing, learning from the old, and missing out on the chance to be a parent...
Still pondering and don't want to give away too much. Just like those movies that make you think about life in new (backwards ways).

Celebrated mothers day this year. Really truly with joy and no sorrow. Bought the gift I never did 14 years ago and thanked my mom for being the "Selah" (stop and listen) in my life. Love that she taught me how to set aside that which didn't matter for that which did. She knew how to play and create. I am moving towards that more and more...

Read Soul Revolution. Actually finished it. So so much to write about that. Huge. Amazing. Real applications to connecting with God. Following prompting and learning about faith and trust. And money. Ha! Like the idea at the end of the book to have your own "rock piles of faith" as reminders of God's faithfulness. Have been collecting those and reflecting on that.

And finally been challenged with the thought...do I trust God's gifts or Him as a giver? That's a tough looking inward one. But so so necessary as we life a life of trust.

And getting ready to celebrate Jenn (and Scott too of course)...so off I go...

Selah

...just stopping and listening more (Selah)

Today I am thankful for listening to Aidan's precious questions about God. And telling me that God and Jesus are friends because God sent Jesus as a baby. And wondering why God doesn't talk to us in burning bushes anymore. And if our house was on fire he would pray for God to protect us. And he wishes he was God because God doesn't make any mistakes.

I told him I was glad that we are children of God and agreed that it was good that God didn't make mistakes. Because he made each of us.

Children help us learn about the kingdom more. I am so thankful for that.

Overcome

One of my favorite Desperation band songs. Great lyrics. Live them today. Be encouraged.

Seated above, enthroned in the Father's love
Destined to die, poured out for all mankind
God's only son perfect and spotless one
He never sinned, but suffered as if he did

All authority, every victo-ry is Yours
All authority, every victory is Yours

Savior, worthy of honor and glory, worthy of all our praise, You overcame
Jesus, awesome in power forever,awesome and great is Your name,You overcame

Power in hand speaking the Father's plan
You're sending us out, light in this broken land

We will overcome by the blood of the Lamb
and the word of our testimony, everyone overcome

Gratitude just because

A lot of times I make lists to "combat" when I am discouraged. Monday I was discouraged. Yesterday was a joyous day. Just goes to show how rollercoaster this life can be. So today I am a making one just because who knows what today holds...

1. Mikey eating breakfast next to me.
2. Aidan telling me about all the animals in the jungle.
3. Celebrating mothers day. Truly.
4. Jeremy giving his all to us in so many ways.
5. Victory. Because of the cross. And because He loves us. (Romans 8:37)
6. Blooming flowers and Aidan naming them.
7. A full fridge and pantry.
8. Washing machine and dryer. Seriously can you imagine life without these?
9. Friends thinking of me and showing me that through love.
10. My cell phone. Even if it is a stinking Razor that is breaking on me...
11. Soul Revolution and "running partners" to do it with.
12. Toy Story, Red pants, Apple Game, sidewalk chalk, alligators, chocolate milk and all that which brings joy to my boys.
13. Everybody healthy for the first time in a while!
14. Painting and discovering how much I like to play with it.
15. A wedding soon! And another!
16. Catering and the food and money it provides.
17. A surprising face at church on Sunday.
18. Life.

...and poppyseed cake and celebrating my mom.

Thinking about Christmas

Inspired by this:

http://mollyirwin.typepadcom/mollyirwin/holiday/

And a random December Issue of Body and Soul that I checked out from the library has got me thinking about Christmas in April.

So many times we rush through December and have crazy expectations of presents, cookies, projects, yada yada. We play the songs. We put away the CDs on the 26th and then don't revisit them until next year.

So...what if?
What if we did the Holiday more year round? Or is there something magical about looking forward to that stuff?

Just thinking...that's all. Wondering what to do to bring a little Christmas into my year. Anybody want to join me for some caroling? ;)

Our Soccer Guy

On Saturday Aidan went to his first "soccer practice' and loved it! They play "games" with the ball not a traditional game but they are learning skill work by playing "Mr. Fox, hamper, and red light green light". Good stuff. He had fun...we actually froze (need to bring Starbucks next time!) More than anything it was such a blessing to see him have fun playing.

Tuesday Cranky

After a wonderfully refreshing weekend I woke up this morning totally crabby and tired due to a restless night of sleep...amazed at how fast my attitude changed. So now I am am choosing to focus on Phil 4:8...you know that true, noble, excellent, praiseworthy stuff.

1. Aidan's heart for helping his brother this morning.(He wanted to make him breakfast and all I saw was him making a mess. Good lesson for me to stop and seek understanding.)

2. Morning air. I love being outside early morning. Too bad I have ceased to be a morning person :)

3. The blessing of heading to the gym while the boys are at school.

4. Sunflower market. Heading there this morning too.

5. A flexible, loving, patient husband. Yeah that should have been #1. He helped me seek understanding.

6. Realizing that my walk with Jesus can be moment to moment more than I ever thought possible.

7. Seeing sprouts...both outside and metaphorically.

8. Open gym. And since we hadn't been in so long it was such a leap in the boys skills and confidence. So fun.

9. Micah and "yum yum, that's delicious!"

10. Music. Itunes, pandora...boys singing. We are blessed.

Just for Fun: Crayons, heart, and soul

Saw this online today and thought it could lend to lots of ideas. (Crysti what to do with all those broken crayons from church :))

http://mollyirwin.typepad.com/mollyirwin/2009/03/wearing-the-green.html

Also on a deeper note I have been reading about the difference between heart and soul. Any thoughts?

Found this so far:
http://www.biblebb.com/files/tonyqa/tc00-107.htm

The Same Power

My sweet boy was watching videos on you tube with me and found this one. I have been encouraged by it as I am dragging from feeling like yuck this week. (Currently sitting in Micah's room for my own quiet time while Micah is with Daddy for his quiet time. Silly world.)

There is a love that I know
A strength for the weak and the broken heart
My Shepherd and King
I find You within me
For you are here
My Lord forever
You are here

Verse 2:

You carried the cross for the world
Gathered the lost and the fatherless
My Shepherd and King
I find You within me
For You are here
My Lord forever
You are here

Chorus:

In this place, you are here
By Your mercy, I draw near
In my heart, take your place
You are here

Verse 3:

Your word is the light of the earth
Your glory resounds in the universe
My Shepherd and King
I find You within me
For You are here
My Lord forever
You are here

Chorus

You are here
You are here
You are here

Bridge:

The same power that conquered the grave
Lives in me, Lives in me
Your love that rescued the earth
Lives in me, lives in me

You are here
You are here
You are here

Sunday Thoughts

After my experiment this week I realized a couple things.

Every day we have CHOICES. We choose what to feed into. We choose what to remember. We choose to have gratitude. Check it out.

Philippians 4: 4-9
(Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ⁵Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. ⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ⁹Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.)

In college I wrote notes from my NT professor about these verses in my margin. They are as follows "praise allows you to focus on the lovely rather than the lousy. It's a +1 mindset, not just neutral."

That is it. I want to live in that mindset. I have a choice to. Check out what Paul tells us to focus on...

-true
-noble
-right
-pure
-lovely
-admirable
-excellent
-praiseworthy

Result? The God of peace will be with you. (vs 9)


Friday and Saturday were not as good of days with the boys. But if I step back and look at the BIG picture and the WHOLE day rather than just the yuck I find there was still way more good than not. (Praiseworthy rather than lousy.) I am having more peace because of this. I hope you do too.

Saturday 3

Gratitude



1. Living in a country where we can share our faith openly. I have never been in a "closed country" and it has even been years since going on a missions trip to Mexico. Hanging door hangers opened my eyes to the blessing of being able to say "just wanted to invite you to a new church starting in the area."

2. Having the health and strength to walk the streets to do the job. It was way more exhausting than I thought.

3. Hamburgers. I never want a hamburger but I am blessed to get one on those crazy days when I have the craving. (And a new pay month to go out with cash for dinner in budget :))


Remember

1. Aidan's enthusiasm for going out to do door hangers. He made sure we all had our t shirts on for it. And he wanted to invite his friend Aden. Awesome.

2. When dividing into teams for the neighborhoods Aidan saying "Micah and I are a team."

3. And yeah...don't give Aidan no time to recharge at home and then have him go to Home Depot after a long day. Not good for anybody.

Friday 3

Up late last night wooping it up (can't say what so Jeno doesn't know) So here is yesterday's...

Gratitude
1. Wild Berry Skittles. Waaaaay better.
2. Singing in the car with the boys after not so hot behavior in the store to change attitudes. It worked.
3. Making new friends and finding we can "swap" skills.

Remember
1. Even yellow days have tons of great moments. I can choose what to focus on.
2. Running outside and playing football means cleaning the kitchen can wait.
3. I am no longer afraid of not having plans for the day. Ok still haven't arrived but I am growing in this drastically. Wonderful week and planned NONE of it in advance. Zoo...McDonalds...Hobby Lobby...Park...

and one more...we have TONS of stuff that we don't use enough like puzzles, art, stickers. It is good to use what you have before looking for more.

Thursday 3

o



Gratitude
1. More of Aidan sharing willingly. Gave Micah the last banana at dinner tonight.
2. My cell phone. Seriously how would I know to switch McDonalds location because the first one was too full and my friend scoped it out first?!
3. Depositing checks.


Remember (can't choose just 3 today!)
1. "Be still and KNOW that I am God" Emphasis not just on the still but on the knowing that comes through that.
2. The preciousness of a little boy falling asleep on his floor.
3. Counting on God Worship CD blows me away time after time.
4. Man the Israelites were a bunch of drama queens. I know I am too.
5. Aidan giving Daddy his helicopter from when he was a kid that he bought for him on ebay. Love it.
6. Boys who played "North Pole" at McDonalds and were amazing friends to each other and those around them.
7. Cool ideas for the kitchen recipes from generations past.

Wednesday 3

Gratitude

1. Jeremy having the wisdom to realize that I am tired and that I need to find a way to take a nap. I did.
2. Little Ceasers. After working this afternoon I didn't have it in me to do one more thing and we found a way to "go out to eat". The boys think tailgating is great and we like the price :)
3. Aidan thankful when Daddy brought water to drink for him with the pizza. I am thankful that he is thankful for whatever he gets.


To Remember (either lessons or moments)
1. Umm...yeah "biking" to the park with Micah sounded much better in concept than reality. He needs to learn to ride first.
2. Aidan stopping at telling his friends that did the race "great job" as we were walking out of church.
3. I love the Veggie Tales with Josh and the Big Wall. I watched this back in August as I got ready for the retreat and it gave me perspective then about true reliance and trust on God. Same reminder today.

Tuesday 3

It's early in the day but here is what I am thinking as of now...

Gratitude

1. Another green day at school.
2. Crazy warm weather for February.
3. Mikey's enthusiasm for hot dogs. I hope it can always be that easy.


To remember

1. I'm learning to let go more all the time. Watch a movie in the basement even if the weather screams come play outside. Not take a shower and instead...watch the movie with the boys.

2. Grocery shopping and hearing "...and your change is 17 cents" and being used to that. Cash is good. Jeremy has good ideas.

3. Getting up early to put out the garbage from the bathroom demolition.

The Challenge of 3

Just for me but you can follow and join in. I just needed a kickstart in my creativity. And a desire to simplify at the same time. I am developing my mantra of "what is essential, what is the heart of it?" (So that I stop saying "bottom line" ;))

So for this week each day:

3 pictures
3 things I want to remember
3 things of gratitude

Sunday 2/22/2009








Remember
1. Jeremy needing help in the bathroom but instead telling me to go run.
2. The unity of a sendoff for Forefront at the Rock.
3. Eating popcorn in Mikey's room during bedtime stories.

Gratitude
1. Washing machine.
2. Food without even grocery shopping for the week.
3. Time to scrapbook and reflect on good stuff.


Monday 2/23/2009




Remember
1. Aidan checking off what he saw on the zoo map to keep track of it. And his million questions to the Elephant and Hippo zoo guys. How old the hippos are (52 and 6).
2. The boys peeing the backyard to "water the grass".
3. Micah giving Aidan the smiley face receipt from Costco when he got home.

Gratitude
1. Warm oatmeal, warm coffee, and warm house.
2. The freedom to be spontaneous even though I stink at it.
3. Socks.

AND The realization of how can I not be thankful?

"Busy, you?"

How do we answer that usually?

"good, you?"

"good...yeah busy but good"

"yeah me too"

So humor me as I reflect on the last month...

For some reason lately when I've been asked that I have this whole slew of answers that I can't really wrap up into a one word answer . But who really wants to hear how we are doing beyond good? I can no longer say "good but busy". I'm not busy. Don't get me wrong I have plenty to do. I have laundry and dishes and projects like always but I have emptied my schedule, myself, and I am left with an openness that is strangely redefining. Pre-January Jeremy and I used to sit down on Sunday night and look at our schedules. Monday-small group, Tuesday-WM meeting, Wednesday-kids connection, Thursday-worship practice, Friday...Sat... You get the idea. We were slammed. We were busy and we were good.

But what if good isn't good enough? What if like "Hitch" fine isn't good enough, what if we want extraordinary? Are we willing to empty ourselves to get that?

It's hard. It is stinking hard. For somebody who so likes to be defined by what I DO. This is so redefining. If we aren't defined by what we do, what are we defined by? Who we are? Who is that? Looking out is a lot easier than looking in. Being busy keeps us in "good mode" but being still moves us to extraordinary.

In the last month we have made a lot of changes. Went to cash. Cut the boys school schedule in half, gone back to the "Mother Church" in preparation for a new church plant, canceled TV programming, sold a lot, got rid of a lot, ate at home A LOT, and I even went to the gym less. And because of that I have lost weight (yes I am weird I know), had a Sound of Music picnic, went swimming at the Rec center a ton, went useless shopping so much less, created art, had many friends over for lunch, and read. Reading definitely way of making you look inward. When the books you are reading are the Bible and Grace Based Parenting...you can't help but look in instead of out.

It is better...but it is hard. Why is that? I'm guessing that the move to extraordinary doesn't come without some sacrifice "surrender of something for the sake of something else". So as I surrender I am guessing that there are going to be some times that despite all the blessings...they don't come without surrender. Which is always going to be tough.

I am got a book that walks me through Psalm 23. I carry it in my purse (so it doesn't count as another book that I am reading, ha) and I love the promises that it gives...

...restoration
...goodness
...contentedness
...comfort
...overflowing

We all desire that in life. If you ask me that doesn't sound just good but extraordinary. But it doesn't come without allowing God to be the Shepherd and Us to be the sheep. Not the other way around. And he is leading beside still waters. Not crazy busy rapids.

Just some thoughts...Who knows what God is doing in me in all this. I know busyness will come again but not without me first changing my answer to "how are you?"

Gratitude for

Haven't made a list for a while. Usually make them when I am down and need a pick-me up but today I am just amazed at all the blessings in my life. So here are a few of some...

1. Pizza burgers.
2. Time. The gift of time is amazing.
3. Running Green Mountain last week in the sunshine.
4. Singing How Great Thou Art...amazing hymn.
5. The freedom of getting rid of more and more stuff.
6. Less TV.
7. More time with my boys, playdough and all :)
8. Planning celebrations.
9. Putting all of Aidan's art together and seeing his talent and growth.
10. Reflecting on my spiritual journey.
11. Hearing the cries of those hurting and being available to encourage them right in the moment they need it.
12. Aidan discovering powdered sugar.
13. Micah asking for something to drink for "his guys" when he wakes up.
14. Being part of a new adventure at Forefront. Praying, worshiping, and meeting new people embarking on the same journey.
15. Reading the Bible. Started in Genesis this year...catching details I have missed before.
16. Being open.


Wow...I could keep going and going but I need to get some monkeys ready for school.

"I want to grill pineapple this summer"

Ok...so weird title for a blog but it was one of those moments that gave me a deeper glimpse into myself once again. (That and some conversations with my cousin who is also a "check it off the list person")

Story goes...I have a 100 list as many of you may know. I have everything from get a salad bowl to get my doctorate to go to a concert at Red Rocks (yes!!! Did it). I like lists. I like to check things off. I don't like things that take maintaining. Like this year Jeremy has made 10 "resolutions" (hate to use that word) about maintaining reading, eating habits, and finances. Me...I have a word (Open) that captures what I want to be about for the year. I can handle a word. I can handle lists. But I don't like things that are long term. I like to feel a sense of getting stuff done. I want to feel successful.

So I say all that because tonight I said "I want to grill pineapple this summer" and laughed that my I should make that one of my 10 "resolutions" because it's easy to check off and then I caught myself realizing...I like to take the easy road. You wouldn't think that about me from the outside. I seem disciplined. I look like I have goals that I am working towards. And I do. But these goals are all ones that I know are "easy" so to speak. Just like the pineapple. I need to get past grilling pineapples and be ready to grow them (ok not literally more metaphorically). So here's to being open to lists that aren't "check-able". Yikes.

What do you think? Is this something I should grow in? Or just some crazy thought I'm having late at night? What kind of person are you (check-able or maintainable) and what kind of pineapples do you need to grow in?

Time out for Mommy

Having a rough go with Big guy's attitude so I'm taking my own time out to reflect on some good stuff just for him.

1. Aidan looking out the window and watching the snow on his newly set up Reindeer, magical.

2. Giving his Christmas tree to Micah because Micah never had one in his room before.

3. Learning independence and the joy he gets when he "gets it".

4. Passing out invitations to his friends at school for his Christmas party.

5. Packing for Wisconsin.

6. Saying he wants to be an "easy talk" teacher when he grows up.

7. His coloring.

8. Plugging in the lights every morning before he does anything else.

9. His thankfulness for yogurt.

10. Giving Micah a hug.

11. Wanting to cuddle with me before bed...(which means no singing, no wiggling, or talking just cuddling.)

12. Wanting to put his backpack in the luggage carrier on the Xterra.

13. Soaring in speech. Praise God.