Choose

Inspired to post tonight by my friend who talked about "mental backup". I think I definitely am one of those people. And when I get like that I find really unsettled...I can't answer a question simply like how are you? (Like when I went to get lab work done at the Dr this week she asked how are you? And like a goof I said "good, well not really but we all say good anyway" Really did she need to know that?) And I put my debit card loose in my purse instead of in my wallet. And I unload half the dishwasher, and I don't engage in where I am at and...

You get the picture. So if for nobody else but me tonight here goes.

So I have had this idea the last few words about a word for the year rather than resolutions. Something to grow as a person and to "resolve" in my character and I challenge those around me to do the same if they would like. The first year it was savor. I had a lot learn about what it meant to rest...not nap, rest. And I ended that year pretty burned out and felt like I didn't really get the word until after I lived in unsavoring for that year despite really wanting that in my life. Realized that savor meant you flavor something and you do that by adding less not more. (Think of spices, can you imagine adding a cup of Italian Seasoning to something?!) And so that flowed into the next year of open. And wow what a year 2009 was. I was open to new adventures, new friendships, open to surrender, open to accept my humanity, and open to the best that God has for my life rather than this "ideal" that we have built up in our minds. And last year rocked me in new amazing ways. I almost lost my son. I battled giving up control on things that I always held so tightly to and was blessed. I was in the classroom again. I followed promptings and saw the hand of God on situations in my life that were so obviously Him at work in. I made choices that brought me to best rather than trying to have it all.

It was kind of like having an awsome meal rather than an all you can eat buffet.

And I learned that life if about the choices we have day by day. The choices on what we dwell on. The choices that we act on. And so as I embrace a new word for this year I'm gonna have to go with choose. I toiled with joy for a while but really that is about choosing joy in circumstances. I toiled with heart because "For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. (Lu 6:45). As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man. (Pr 27:19) ..." And I was even thinking about going with content because again that is a choice of being not just full but satisfied but I think God wants to go big with me this year. I was hesistant to do a word that was so dependent on me but I think I know that my strength is straight up from my God and not from me. I don't think I am trying to do any of this on my own. Especially after living the year of 2009.

I only have so much time. I only have so much money. And both are investments to choose what to invest in. And so that is choosing. Just tonight I chose to stop and do this which means I won't have time to finish grading and entering grades and prepping for the week. So I will have to tomorrow which means I might have to give up something at that time...which I don't like but I have discovered accpecting it is a heck of a lot better than fighting it.

Every day I can choose to react on feelings or choose truth.

I choose to follow Him. Joshua 24:15 "But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."

I choose.

Yep.